My answer is, I was taught those beliefs as a child. But my conversion experience tells me that there are many paths to God, as mine was not in a church. It was in a secular setting among a group of people; professionals, priests, pilots, doctors, mothers, dads, drunks, prostitutes, ex-convicts, adulterers, abusers, heterosexuals and homosexuals: all sinners and outcasts from the churches of our youth. All of us, lost souls, seeking meaning for life and a reason to live. We all sat around clinging to each other as one would cling to a life raft on a sinking ship hoping and praying for some sort of saving grace.
Many prayed to a God that they did not believe in, some prayed to a door knob, others prayed to a borrowed God, others prayed to the varying Gods of their childhood. I prayed to a borrowed God, the Spirit of love and creativity. These many expressions of God pulled most of us through and led us into a life of light, love and happiness.
As I walked along my spiritual path, I remembered the stories of Jesus eating with the tax collectors, talking to the prostitutes, protecting the adulterers, drinking wine at the weddings, etc. I realized that he hung out with people like me. This opened the door for me to return to the teachings of my childhood and gave me the courage to go before a priest in reconciliation and confess my 'sins'; all areas of my life where I had missed the mark, I had stepped away from my Creator. I revealed all of my secrets that kept me in darkness.
When I had exhausted my life history, wailing uncontrollably, the priest said, "Becky, God loves you unconditionally just as you are. Jesus last words on the cross were, God forgive them they know not what they do. In God, your life is a clean slate. Now you must forgive yourself. And in the words of Jesus, he said, Go and sin no more", which meant keep a tight relationship with God and do the best you can. This experience set me free.
It was sharing our stories, loving and accepting each other warts and all that I began to awaken to the indwelling Spirit of God. As I grew to love these people and they grew to love me unconditionally expecting nothing in return, I began to love myself. In loving myself, I was able to open myself to the love, forgiveness and grace of God.
Scriptures for the first time in my life had meaning. I was once blind but now I could see, I was deaf but now I could hear. My life was born anew. Where once I could not see God anywhere; now, there was no place God was not. In every person, every faith tradition, every mountain top, every experience whether good or bad, God is there.
So in answer to the question, "Am I a Christian?" I can only say, Jesus is my way-shower, we walk hand in hand along this spiritual journey called life. He is my guide and my friend. We are, as you are, One with each other and with our Creator; the Creator of all that Is.
I am a Christian of my kind, just as you may be a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Baha'i, etc. of your kind. For me, It Is All that IS: GOD.
©oneness of life productions 11/2010
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