Listening creates lasting Friendships

We are all wanting to be heard but few of us stop our activity of doing in order to listen. This was a key message from Greg Mortenson, author of Three Cups of Tea, about his work of building schools in Afghanistan and Pakistan. He said, progress was slow because the building of relationships takes time. To accurately assimilate the needs of the people he serves; he stops, has tea, and listens to the elders and the women of the communities. During this time, he gathers valuable information about the needs of the people.

Greg said, he watched countless $250 tweed jackets, sent by well meaning people wanting to help, being thrown into fires to cook meals and warm rooms for the children. He also witnessed nylon tents, sent with the same intention, melt and burn because the people were using kerosene burners to stay warm. He said, "If we had asked them what they needed, they would have said, kerosene and money to build a canvass factory to manufacture their own tents that would withstand the cold and provide shade in the heat." This would have been much cheaper and much more productive for the people in this region.

Taking the time to listen to those we want to help, we can find out what is required to empower them to meet their needs. By empowering the people, we are a greater source for positive and long-lasting change in our world. Truly listening instills a deep sense of trust. In building trust, we create a bond of love. With love, we establish lasting friendships, we heal wounds, we become ONE.

© 2010 by Becky Benes
www.onenessoflife.com

Listening is a sign of Love

Multi-tasking is a commonly used term in our society and being a mom, I can relate. I am constantly doing at least 4 things at once. While I am busy with the hustle and bustle of life, I often do not take the time to listen to my children and/or my husband. This causes a lot of undue stress and tension in our family.

However, when I stop and listen, my children and my husband feel important and loved. They sense that I really care about them and what is happening in their life. Sometimes, it takes a lot of effort to truly understand what they are saying because I jump to conclusions and formulate an answer before I even know the question.

My oldest child is my greatest teacher and we work diligently and sometimes quite emotionally to get our points across. It takes time and effort to openly communicate, which means we must be willing to listen and be willing to be changed.

How would our lives be different if we took the time to listen? To listen without an agenda, without a prejudgement, without a radio or TV blaring in the fore-ground. How many more people would feel respected, understood, and loved, if we would just listen.

I encourage you to stop and listen to those whom you love and those whom you have conflict. You may be surprised what you learn. I know you will feel fulfilled and they will feel honored and loved.