Easter

Easter weekend has been a milestone moment in my life over the past years. It seems it stirs great emotion within my soul. I remember one Good Friday coming home after reading the passion, furious. I was so sick of hearing the Crucifixion story. I wrote in my journal:

Jesus, I am so tired of hearing your story! What about my story and all of the stories of the people down here. Do you think you are the only one who has suffered? Don't you think we have been crucified in our own way. We are beat up and nailed to a cross everyday as people judge us, talk behind our backs, bully us, beat us down. . . I was hysterically crying and in the depths of a very dark place in my life.

An amazing thing happened in my journal, I got a reply. It said, Becky, yes I know your pain and the pain of all people. You are all crucified on this journey of life. I am so sorry. My story is your story and your story is my story. No one person's pain is greater than the others. We are all One in suffering, but we are also all One in the joy of rebirthing or resurrection.

Once you becoming willing to forgive those whom have harmed you, you will know a new freedom. You will be born anew. But just as you have been crucified so too have you crucified others. You must own this fact and ask for forgiveness. Once you seek forgiveness and forgive others, thirst for the Father, to know God. You will experience the peace that surpasses understanding.

Becky, open yourself to my story and make it your own. You will awaken and come to know what I meant when I said, You are in the world but not of the world. I love you, I am sorry for your pain, I forgive you, and Thank you.

This message changed my life. I hope in sharing this personal entry from my journal, it helps you.
God Bless and Happy Easter.

Suffering in love

Love is in the joys of life and in the suffering of life.

Sometimes the suffering of our lives seems unbearable, we wonder how am I going to survive this one. But I find, my own suffering is far easier to handle than watching a love one suffer.

As I sit with the man who gave me life, who nurtured me when I was in pain, who fed me, who loved me unconditionally, who went beyond the call of duty to meet my needs, my heart aches. As I watch him experience so much pain and agony. My heart aches beyond measure.

How can I handle and watch any more. I would love to run and hide, to send him off where another would care for him; but what if he is scared, and they don't understand him, or they don't treat him with love and dignity. The inner struggle for me is unbearable.

So I breathe, I breathe in the love of Christ, I breathe out the pain in my heart, my struggle lessons. I breathe again into the pain, I release, it has lessened. I continue to breathe deeply for minutes, now hours. I focus on the Creator of Life.

I read: " Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

I open my hands to let go, knowing and trusting that God has a plan and the plan is good. I sleep.

© 2010 by Becky Benes
www.onenessoflife.com