Thursday, March 24, 2011

The First Commandment

The following commentaries on the Ten Commandments are not meant to be theological exegesis but are insights gleaned from meditation and contemplation. As with all I write, take what you like and leave the rest. I invite you all to sit in contemplation of these commandments and invite the Spirit of God to reveal their meaning to you.

First Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Have Any Gods Before Me

In order for me to comprehend this commandment, I needed a deep understanding of God. I had been taught and believed that God was the Creator of the Universe, of the seen and unseen. God was redeemer, powerful, loving; yet, at the same time judging, punishing and to be feared. I prayed to this God almost daily and was a faithful church attendee.

However, I did not feel really connected to God but I was sure that I did not put any other Gods before the Only God.

Therefore, I was surprised when my first spiritual director stated, “God is what you focus most of your time and energy on.” At this point in my life, my primary focus was myself. I was consumed with getting what I wanted when I wanted it. I was in control of my destiny, my life. I was the center of my Universe and received all of my own attention. According to my spiritual director’s definition, I was my own God. Wow.

The interesting thing was my life was filled with fear, angst and worry. My god (myself) did not give me confidence, hope or peace of mind.

It was during this time I received a letter from an anonymous source which said, “Becky, There is a God and you are not it.” This was an Ah-HA moment for me.

This was my first encounter with reflecting on the First Commandment which I had obviously already broken.

What do you spend the most time focusing on?

© Becky Benes 3-2011

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